As the social interaction of smoking gradually withdraws from contemporary workplaces, the social rituals of after-work drinking has become increasingly important. Who in the workplace has not participated in after-work happy hours with colleagues, toasting to the leaders, or being involuntarily asked to blow a bottle and bottom up a glass?
In China and some other cultures, people don't drink much at university and therefore they may have no idea about the maximum amount of alcohol that their body can handle. As a result, workplace newbies may blindly follow their more senior colleagues' advice, so-called "the more you drink, the more you will get used to it", "drinking needs practice", "it is difficult to climb up the corporate ladder if you don't drink", etc.
However, I would like to ask, in these rituals of after work drinking, how many people really enjoy it? If not everyone likes it, then why are the drinking rituals always there? For me personally, I don't drink. Therefore I was worrying that my future in the corporate world is slim when I was at the early career stage and there was so much peer pressure to drink.
For the past 10 years or so, as I traveled around and work with different people from different country and culture, I have always been observing this topic and thinking about the following series of questions:
(1) Why do we drink alcohol with our colleagues after work or at social events?
(2) Since not everyone drinks, are they also facing challenges at the early career stage like me?
(3) Based on question one and two, how would you choose, to drink or not to drink? If drinking, will you define a limit and stay within it?
First, why has drinking become a social etiquette for professionals?
When I was doing one of the audit assignment in the United States, my colleagues explained to me at a party, "we drink, it's not because how tasty the beer is, it's because a lot of interesting things can happen after you drink and therefore it's so much fun!"
To me, this could indicate "speaking truth after drinking" or "going crazy after drinking". The underlying social and cultural reasons could be the following:
(1) Under the guise of "alcohol", whether it is true or not, it provides a relatively safe environment to allow people to take risks and say something that they wouldn't say during the usual nine-to-five working hours. If people listen to it and find it acceptable, you have achieved your goal. If they find it offensive or don't like it, they may well excuse you as they will think that you probably "have drunk too much". In both cases, you are most likely safe.
(2) Alcohol, as long as within a certain range, it does have the biological effect to make the human body feel a bit more relaxed. So, the etiquette of drinking can allow your colleagues to witness a more personal side of you, which may bring your relationship closer. People are social animals and they are curious to see you outside of work (after work drinking is a common channel to respond to that psychological demand)
(3) In Asian cultures (such as China and South Korea), drinking is used to express the importance power and social ranks. For example, when clinking glasses between the supervisors and the subordinates, it is common that the more junior colleagues to put their glass lower than their more senior colleagues'. Drinking is a game to show respect to power.
The above reason (1) and (2) are probably universally applicable as they both relates to human characteristics, while reason (3) is mainly an East Asian characteristic.
After understanding the above three points, we now understand the human, social, and cultural motivations behind the drinking culture. However, understanding the rationale of drinking does not mean that it is a must. More than 50% of the world's population actually does not drink much, so what about them? So let's move on to my next question.
Second, how many people drink in the world?
I used to think that I am a minority who doesn't drink, until I discovered actually about half of the world's population don't drink alcohol! Please refer to the below statistics from the World Health Organization WHO. Let's tell the story with numbers.
To highlight a few countries by color (full list see map):
Purple countries, consume the most alcohol: Russia, Europe, South Korea, etc.
Brown countries, second in alcohol consumption: the United States, Canada, Japan, etc.
Orange countries, third in alcohol consumption: China, Thailand, Peru, etc.
Blue countries, fourth in alcohol consumption: India, Turkey, Central Africa, etc.
Green countries, hardly drink: Middle East, North Africa, Indonesia, etc.
The number of 50% sounds very encouraging at first, but unfortunately, this half of the non-drinking statistics includes the contribution of many of our fellow Muslims, who really do not drink a drop of alcohol.
Let me also share with you what type of alcohols are being drunk in the world?
To highlight a few countries by color (full list see map):
Purple countries, mainly beer: UK, US, Canada, Australia, etc.
Brown countries, mainly wine: Portugal, France, Italy, Argentina, etc.
Orange countries, mainly spirits: China, Russia, Korea, Japan, etc.
Blue and green countries, other alcohol types or simply don’t drink
Although excluding Muslims, there are not so many people who do not drink alcohol, but it is still sizable, especially the percentage of people who have not drunk any alcohol in the past year. Please see the green box in the picture below. If I use the most familiar American, British, and Chinese to represent America (AMR), Europe (EUR), and Asia (WPR) in the following picture:
United States: 49.8% of women (i.e. almost half of women) have not touched alcohol in the past year; for men, the percentage is 33% (i.e. one third)
United Kingdom: 38.1% of women (i.e. close to 40%) have not touched alcohol in the past year; for men, the percentage is 23.5% (i.e. more than two out of ten)
China: 59.5% of women (i.e. nearly 60%, far more than half) have not drunk alcohol in the past year; compared with 28.2% for men (i.e. around one third)
Since my own cultural (East Asia) and the influence of dominant foreign cultures (Europe and the United States) all have traditional and popular drinking norms, so gradually and subtly, I developed the false impression that who does not drink is minority.
However, if we put ourselves into the world, the horizons will suddenly expand a lot. The world is so diverse and inclusive of all things, and therefore the delicate relationship that alcohol can promote, other methods are also possible. So, the third question, how to choose?
Third, to drink or not to drink? If you drink, how to stick within your limit?
In the past, I didn't mention my alcohol allergy to declare upfront that I would not drink. At that time, I always wrongly "pushed myself out of my comfort zone", again and again, due to the following reasons:
(1) When going to happy hour, if I don't drink, how can I mingle with my peers?
(2) I may want to test how much alcohol I can drink before vomiting or feeling uncomfortable
(3) The bosses came to ask me to drink, how can I refuse? !
Therefore, every time I went to those after-work drinking events, either at the restaurants or at the bars, it was super tiring. I didn't like it at all but I had to smile and pretend.
Until, one day.
I met a male Muslim colleague from the Middle East at a bar party after work in the United States. I naturally try to shake hands and say hello, but the other side kept his hands in the pockets, and explained politely, "I'm sorry, but in my religion and culture, we don't shake hands, and people of the opposite genders are even with more restriction."
You can imagine he even said no to the internationally recognized business etiquette of shaking hands, he would, for sure. firmly told me that he does not drink.
My first reaction was of course: Uh, you are already working for a major American company and you are currently physically in the United States. Are you not adopting the rule of "while in Rome, do as the roman do"?
Of course, the second time I think about this, all I can have for him is just respect.
Know your position (drink or not drink), and make it clear at the beginning, then stick to it, so that your colleagues around you will only respect your beliefs and choices, and silently praise you for not comprising yourself to the surroundings.
Belief is one's own, and so is the health.
Since then, I have made up my mind to state the clear position of not drinking, and every time when a colleague at the table asks me red wine or white wine, I will just say "no thank you, but I don't drink" with a smile on my face. And then confidently order a cup of tea or a glass of juice from the soft drink menu.
What about all the nice reasons mentioned in Question One?
Let's go back to the statistics in Question Two, not everyone loves to drink. As long as you stay true to yourself, other like-minded people will get closer to you.
Then you can still build a decent and genuine relationship. Drinking can show the non-work side of oneself. You can show it via sincere dialogue and sharing your family, friends, hometown, interests, culture, etc., and it may be even more fun and rewarding, isn't it?
When it comes to drinking, I would suggest to never go out of your comfort zone.
Instead, define your comfort zone and stay within it, all the time:)
Comentários